Randomness on a Wednesday

I was up at 2:13 this morning, giving Miss V the first of her two middle of the night feedings when a myriad of random thoughts coursed through my sleep deprived brain.  Surprisingly, they had taken up residence when I awoke at 4:57, so I thought I'd share them with you.

1. Housework is extremely sucktastic. This PSA brought to you by Captain Obvious, but truly, it needs to be said. There are some people I know who say that doing housework is therapeutic and I call BS on that.  I mean, I get total satisfaction at having a clean house, but my therapy lies in having someone else do the cleaning.

2. You don't realize how big your kids have truly gotten until you see them holding a three week old.  Mo and Co have turned into veritable giants since Viv-o's arrival.  I knew that they were growing up; Mo's shorts from last summer make Speedos look like board shorts.  Co's feet have shot forward a few sizes. Suffice it to say, Mo's getting a wardrobe overhaul, Co's got a ton of hand-me downs and Viv-o has her summer wardrobe already for her when she hits 4T, though she's so mini at this point, she might be 6 or 7 years old before she fills out enough.

3. All these celebrities popping out babies and whittling their middles in record time is really doing wonders for my self-esteem and my relationship with my post-baby bulges. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm only three weeks post-partum.  I consider myself pretty active and having to table the workouts for six weeks is killing me! I knew my weekly threesome with Ben & Jerry was going to bite me in the butt once the wee one arrived; and what big ol' bite it has been.

4.  Speaking of weight watching, I'm back on that wagon.  Even though this is my third, fourth, latest visit to the WW, I still have my measuring cups and spoons out to make sure I'm on track.  The other day at dinner, Mo asked me why I had the measuring spoons next to me at the table. I told her it was because I wanted to make sure I ate the serving size of salad dressing.  She turns to Co and say, "Oh, Mom's doing that Weight Watching thing again. That's why we can't eat those ice cream sandwiches at the back of the freezer."  I'm not sure if she was complaining or trying to make herself an ally to my cause.   Her inquiring as to the status of my "breast health" in the middle of the grocery store has me thinking it's not the latter.

5. I've got a list of books that I want to read, but when I was at the library the other day, I picked up the latest book by Tucker Max.  If you don't know who Tucker Max is, that's probably a good thing. In a nutshell, he's the world's worst frat boy stereotype come to life and he writes about his exploits with such a sharp wit and sarcasm, you could shave your legs with it.  I know I shouldn't enjoy his essays about his constant hook-ups with an endless stream of girls, none of whom escape his vitriolic description of their shortcomings (real or imagined), his bar-crawling, his out and out douchbaggery and overall inflated sense of self-aggrandizement, but truthfully. . .he's so freakin' funny.  Last night, I was reading an account from a party he attended where he offended every.single.person in attendance. He was so drunk, he didn't remember any of it and the essay was in fact an email recounting his misdeeds written by his friend who was at the party with him.  This essay covered at least four pages, each bullet point of foolishness more wicked and ridiculous than the last.  I can't believe all of these things happened and continue to happen to one guy, which is probably why I keep reading it.  I've found that my suspension of disbelief is extraordinary.  And that stories about farting will always make me laugh.  Hard.

6.  Why haven't I been buying pre-cut vegetables at the grocery store before now? Holy crap!!  Pre-diced peppers and onion? Cubed zucchini? Prepared fajita fixings ready to cook? What have I been doing all my life, wasting time, energy and a few finger tips?  Have I totally been blazing through the produce aisle with blinders on? I feel like the cosmos has totally thrown me a bone to make meal times more manageable.  Yay for 5-6 servings of fruit and vegetables per day!

*sigh*

These late nights are catching up with me. Here's hoping to catch a snooze while the wee ones occupy themselves. . .

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Occupy themselves?! yeah, right.

You know I'll be putting the TV on.